


What Sam Knows

by letmegeekatyou



Series: Seeing [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-18
Updated: 2014-02-18
Packaged: 2018-01-12 21:42:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1201669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/letmegeekatyou/pseuds/letmegeekatyou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam struggles to reciprocate Cas's affection.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Sam Knows

Sometimes, it was hard to be with Cas. It wasn’t that Sam wasn’t romantic, but the romance in his previous relationships had been in the small things: flowers, kisses, a book of poetry or breakfast in bed. With Cas, there was this intensity to every conversation, a seriousness and a deliberateness, stories about constellations and the kinds of sights that angels sing about.

They were beautiful stories, too. Cas could spend hours tracing patterns on Sam’s bare skin, reciting long-forgotten poems in ancient languages about the mountains whose dust became his freckles. Kissing his way across Sam’s chest, down his stomach, telling him about how his blushing skin reminded him of the color of the sky on distant planets. Murmuring in worshipful Enochian against his cheek as Sam arched beneath him, breathless and beautiful.

Sam was, long story short, being swept off his feet. And he wasn’t sure how to feel about it or how to respond. Really, what can you say when your boyfriend (who, by the way, literally rescued you from Hell) tells you that your hair reminds him of the waves crashing on the shores of Atlantis (which apparently actually existed) on a moonlit night? How could you ever find the words to tell him you love him when every metaphor you know for love pales in comparison to the wonders he’s seen?

He did love Cas, that much he was sure about. And it wasn’t about the poetry, or the sex, although those things were wonderful. It was about Cas. The angel who gave up everything for humanity, who tried, always, to do the right thing, even when he messed things up in the process. Who had this relentless optimism, and humor, and who had phenomenal cosmic powers but missed the taste of peanut butter and jelly.

Cas compared him to moons and stars and seas, but there was nothing he could compare Cas to. There was nothing, never had been anything, like Cas. Not in all the world. And maybe he would never be able to say all that so that Cas would know what he meant. Maybe the words for it didn’t exist at all.

In the end, though, it was easier than he ever thought.

***

Maybe I’m getting old, Sam thought, shifting his legs uncomfortably against the floor of the Impala. He was stiff and sore, and where it used to be easy to sleep on these long trips, now every time he almost dropped off, some part of his body protested and he was wide awake again. Dean, too, was trying not to nod off at the wheel; they’d talked about just stopping for the night, but they both wanted to get home. When the monsters were kids, it…it took a lot out of both of them. And although he didn’t say it, Sam was missing Cas, and Dean knew it.

When they finally arrived at the bunker, Sam thought about taking a shower, but it just seemed like too much work. He could shower in the morning, or possibly the afternoon. Instead, he kicked off his shoes and crawled into bed.

Cas didn’t need to sleep, not really, but he had gotten in the habit of staying in their bed at night, thinking or meditating while Sam slept beside him. He was there now, a warm weight in the middle of the mattress, and Sam wrapped his whole body around him, reaching an arm out to pull him close, to breathe him in as if he was the only oxygen in the room.

"You’re home," Cas smiled, entwining his legs with Sam’s and kissing him happily. "I wasn’t expecting you until tomorrow. This is a good surprise."

In the end, it was easy. He didn’t have to come up with a line, didn’t have to write a poem. This came as naturally to Sam as galaxies and oceans and moons did to Castiel.

"Needed to see you," he murmured, pressing his forehead against Cas’s. He felt his muscles unknotting and his heart slowing to a quiet, easy rhythm. "Always feel that way, when I’m gone. You’re home, Cas." Sam looked into Cas’s eyes, still so blue, even in the dark room, and he was overwhelmed with love. "When I think about home, it’s always you."

In the end, it was that easy.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted at http://sammysalive.tumblr.com/post/75724882611/this-is-a-sequel-to-my-sastiel-story-about-the


End file.
